The Tale of Fantasy Gamers – Apollo’s Kislev – Part 1

Witam! Jestem Apollo.  Witamy na Opowiesci Graczy Fantasy!  (Hello!  I am Apollo.  Welcome to the Tale of Fantasy Gamers!)  This is my first post in the Tale, and I’ll be chatting about my reason for selecting Kislev as my Warhammer Fantasy Battle army, and giving you an idea of what might be coming in the future.

I have had an utterly on-off love affair with Warhammer Fantasy Battle for a stonkingly long time.  Fantasy can be a cruel mistress, and she can also be a winsome maiden.  However, she is always there – no matter how long you spend shooting things with boltguns and cutting them up with chainswords, she is forever calling you with her siren’s lament – “Coooome, coome play with my tactical and strategic game desiiiign.  My models are soooo delicious.  I’ve kept myself for yooooouuuu”.

It is a difficult thing to ignore.

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Over the last 10 years I’ve probably bought and subsequently sold (without completing) about 5 fantasy armies, and at one point developed what can only be described as a full blown Dogs of War eBay-buying addiction.  I was one step away from meeting shady men in the park to do terrible things in return for some mint-in-blister Pirazzo’s Lost Legion and Long Drong’s Slayer Pirates.  However, I eventually exerted tremendous amounts of willpower, kicked myself of the habit and sold on what was conservatively 15,000 points of metal models.  In doing so though, I always kept for myself what was my heart of darkness.  My good stuff.  My 28-year-old single malt.   My precioussssssss.  My Kislevites.


So rounding down I now have around 5,000 points of Kislevites sitting in baggies in bare metal, unmade form, waiting to be given life and to fulfill their purpose.  Like Woody and Buzz, they want to be played with.  And now I have that chance.  One shot, one opportunity, to seize everything I ever wanted.  One moment.  Will I capture it or just let it slip? Yo.

Just kidding.  I’m not Eminem.  I have better hair.

So the planning phase has started, and given I’m going to have to basically relearn Warhammer (having not played 8th Edition before), I’m starting nice and easy.  I’ve made my 1000pts army list, which is designed as a core around which I can fit the rest of the army.  I’m going to use Warhammer Armies: The Empire as my army list, to ensure there are no arguments about rules.  There is a Kislev official book, but it’s well out of date now and unlikely to be accepted at any tournaments or by players outside of the Olympians.  So using Empire will allow me to play pick up games, and random tournaments without worrying about legality.  Plus the Empire book is nice and flexible and should allow me to represent most, if not all of the models I have in the collection.

Now onto the army list.  The name in italics next to the unit name is the Kislev unit that it will be representing.  All of the models will be Kislevite models, and will obviously have the Rule of Cool trump any WYSIWYG concerns – “Duh, yeh I know they’re not Pistoliers and don’t have armour or pistols modelled – my Horse Archers clearly feel no pain and shoot arrows extra hard and extra quickly, because they are strong like bear. Mother Kislev has hardy sons.” 

Basically, if I can intimidate my opponent with assertions of manliness in a Polish accent, I’m getting away with it.


Battle Wizard: Level 2 Wizard; Lore of Beasts – Kislev Sorceror
Captain of the Empire: full plate armour; shield; Battle Standard – Boyar


20 Swordsmen – Gospodar Militia
9 Archers – Kossars
5 Empire Knights – Winged Lancers


3 Demigryph Knights – Sons of Ursun [Bear riders, baby!]
Great Cannon – Urugan Cannon
10 Greatswords – Kreml Guard
5 Pistoliers – Ungol Horse Archers

Starting next time I’ll be taking some pictures of models in a built and undercoated condition.  If you have any suggestions for colour schemes, feel free to hit up the comments below.  I’m think steel and deep red, or bronze and purple.  I’m not a fan of the traditional sky blue and red, and I need some ideas.

Until next time, remember the old Kislev saying – “the bear does not die in his sleep – he fights!”


Apollo is a warrior. He relishes the din of battle, the clash of mighty hosts and the sharp stink of gamer funk in the morning; he lives for warfare on the battlefields of the grimdark 41st Millennium; and he laughs in the faces of puny noobs. Not for him the laudable ambition of having a Golden Daemon-level fully-painted army, or a deep appreciation of an epic backstory – Apollo thirsts for victory above all else. Fear him. For he is beardcheese incarnate.